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I also said there's too much drama - I don't want her ex interfering in my life. I didn't sign up for that. She started really crying, saying she's so sorry etc but I told her it's too late, she should have done that as soon as she knew I was innocent.

I told her to go back to her mum's and think about how she wants to get her and her daughter's stuff back, and call me in a few days when she's decided.

More tears, but she then after a while if it would make any difference if her daughter apologised? I said no, I never want to talk to her again - I'm especially done with her.

And I explained why. Not only am I so angry with her, I can't trust her. And what she did, makes me angry for another reason too.

Basically I was sexually assaulted as a child by an older male family member when I was 7. It fucked me up for a long time. So to have someone lie about something so disgusting, it fills me up with a lot of rage.

She my ex had no idea - I never told her in our relationship at all. If she knew, she would definitely have apologised. I got so annoyed about that - like why does knowing what I went through make me more worthy of empathy?

Does not ruining your boyfriend's life make me less of an apology? I went off on a rant about that, I was so pissed off. So after I had my rant about it, I told her to leave and we'll talk in a few days about when to start collecting her stuff.

I feel mixed - justified in ending it, but sad it's over. Like we were amazing up until this. Really started to bond as a team.

Lots of good moments. My dog's missing them too, he sat by the door crying after she left. Just to get this out the way - let stop with this "you let the father win" or "he's won" talk.

He's not really won anything! He's alienated his daughter, ex hates him and the police are looking for him. Not only to mention if he happened to cause me or my family any more trouble or bother us again, it'll end up very badly for him.

He may have "won the battle" but he's certainly "lost the war. Tldr: told her to come over, said we're done, explained why and we'll talk soon to arrange her getting their stuff.

That fucking psycho needs to be arrested, the kid needs therapy, your gf needs perspective, and you need to keep yourself safe in all this.

What your ex gf doesn't get is that there is a difference between being angry at a child, and protecting yourself. You don't have to hold a grudge against a manipulated 13 year old in order to conclude that you have to stay away from her because she can put you in a lot of trouble.

Even besides jail and even if proven innocent there are still people who will see you as the guy who touched a child, it could get you fired and lose everything.

When you're proven innocent they don't say "He's innocent", they say "He got away with it". I worked in a prison and they had to keep child molesters in a separate building because they would always be attacked by the general population.

Whenever they had to mix with the general pop for medical appointments and whatnot they had to be escorted by correctional officers for their own protection.

Scary to think OP could have ended up there due to a story made up by his girlfriend's daughter. Agreed he should find someone else. A burglar will rationalize that he committed a crime to feed himself or a murderer may have killed someone who he felt disrespected him.

Pedophilia is a crime that defies rationalization and is just predatory like rape. This is from my experiences and observations as both a social worker and someone who grew up in a neighborhood you would probably lock your car door if you drove through it.

Also I would include the fact that many prisoners have children of their own, as well as the fact that it is a "degenerate" crime that is not only abhorrent but simultaneously marks someone as not masculine.

It is seen as a crime that is simultaneously depraved and weak, meaning unlike some other depraved crimes it gains absolutely no "respect" through intimidation.

To use a rough example, you could imagine an imprisoned serial killer who killed grown men and then ate them being seen as a deranged freak by fellow prisoners, but still garnering a certain degree of a fear-inspired "respect" through the sheer dread and intimidation of their crime.

They might still get attacked by some, but many others would simply prefer to avoid a person like that because they are clearly intimidating.

A pedophile on the other hand commits a deranged act that simultaneously makes them less masculine and inspires no fear or dread in fellow prisoners, only hatred, disgust, and a perception of weakness.

But let's not pretend like being mad at the girl isn't warranted. She's 13, even though she was manipulated she still knows right from wrong I absolutely did at that age and should have known better than to not tell her mother what her dad was telling her to do.

I'm not saying she should be criminally charged or anything like that, I understand how easy it is to be manipulated at that age by an authority figure, but you're also old enough to warrant having adults get mad at you for potentially ruining their entire lives.

She can't go forward from this without understanding the seriousness of this situation and being afraid of the consequences.

Otherwise she won't learn just how fucked up and dangerous a situation she helped create. There is no way! No way at all that you can safely let her daughter back in the house with you if she is so easily manipulated to make such horrible accusations.

You would never be able to let your guard down and relax in your own home. She wanted you out of the picture so much that she would risk ruining your life over a lie.

Watch Wes Watson or Big Herc on youtube. They will give you a very good idea of what happens to sex offenders in jail.

They try to make the suspect make an admission of one of the minor charges. A lot of things can be construed to amount to a criminal charge, even if you might think they are not illegal at all.

Other tactics would be trying to get the suspect to admit trivial details that would not be criminal themselves. OP should assume every word he is saying is still being recorded by police.

To be fair to the police, they were fantastic. The copper investigating said to me after I was cleared that he knew within 5 minutes of interviewing me I was innocent but he had to do his job regardless.

Never trust what the cops say. Part of their M. I once made a post here talking about calling the police on a stalker. When in reality the officers were super protective and nice.

And Hispanic. Unfortunately there's a lot of hate that goes with Reddit. Southern Americans are all a bunch of poor toothless racists. Cops are apparently universally power hungry assholes who beat everyone they meet.

Etc, etc, etc. Yeah, the most common words here are "red flag" and "divorce" or "break up". You think that's bad, don't even mention the words vegan or feminist, of a good percentage of redditors will start frothing in their mouths.

I agree with your EXgirlfriend, as a mother she needed to take her child seriously and seek help for the accusations being made.

The point where she jumped completely off the reality train is when she thought the FALSE accusations wouldn't have consequences. There is no point in the near future I would say no point ever that child should be sharing a living space with you.

She as a mother was looking out for her child, well now you as an adult need to lookout for yourself. Has the child had therapy to deal with the emotional manipulation from her father?

Has the child displayed any remorse at leveling that kind of accusation at an innocent man? Has the child - or mother - displayed any remorse about what you went thru as a person falsely accused?

Something BIG happened, and until both of them grasp that and delay with it she should be firmly in the EX category.

Which is weird, because the police should have safeguarded the daughter. This raises so many alarm bells. The daughter is being abused, not but you, by her dad, admiting to manipulation like that should get social services etc involved.

Maybe she is. I think this is where my gf should do her job as a mum and get her help as she did in this situation.

And you should separate yourself from the situation. If her daughter is taking orders from her father and it didn't work this time, there's no reason to believe he won't try again through her.

The cops came and a report was made. That's something for nothing to him, and no consequence for the daughter.

You came away from this dirty. You might have won the battle, but their mission succeeded. I would consider pressing charges against the father in this case,it's gonna be harder for people to believe her now that she's been caught lying about something that could put people in jail and ruin your life.

Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, get charged with sexual assault and have your life ruined. You literally have to love every single person you ever enter into a commited relationship with, rendering love the only thing that will exist in every relationship you have your whole life and admitidly the most useless factor in making any decisions regarding relatioships.

If love were a spice it would be flour, required to make the bread, but not what makes the break worth eating. Please remind me to give an award to this comment when I get back on my desktop computer in about 10 hours.

The daughter issue is one thing but I think the bigger issue is that your ex-GF doesn't take this seriously. There is a difference of how important this situation is to each of you and tells you how willing she is to take responsibility in parenting, set clear boundaries with her ex about what is acceptable, and is willing to support you when times are difficult.

Can you live forever with someone who acts this way on a consistent basis? Remember - Actions speak louder than words. Without knowing all the facts, I find it odd that the ex-bf thinks he has a chance to get back with your ex-gf.

Something seems a bit off here. Show my step daughter pictures of her and the dad when they were together. Tell her how she misses them being a family and such.

He is convincing the daughter of this to get the OP out of the way. Not necessarily because he wants to date the mom but because he is jealous he has to share the kid.

To be fair there are plenty of abusive delusional people who think they stand a chance, or are entitled to one, without even a hint of evidence the other person is interested.

This exactly. You have every right to protect yourself. You NEED to protect yourself. I'm going to make this really simple.

You dodged a relationship bullet, and maybe prison time had she not confessed. This situation is no longer your problem but is the next guys problem.

She did what she had to do as a mom and now you're doing what you have to do as the ex boyfriend.

Sorry, next girlfriend please. Big problem was, the girl had recently started being sexually active with her boyfriend so on a first examination it was hard to determine if my friend was innocent or not him being black and the girl white did not help at all , so guest what?

And yet you can't. The 13 year old has proven herself to be a clear and continuing danger to you. She's 13, not 5. She knew she was doing something wrong and still went along with it because she probably wants her mom and dad to get back together.

At the very least she doesn't respect or even like you, again as evidenced by her going along with the scheme.

The 13 year old won't just give up after this one attempt, she will keep trying other things and be a huge source of friction.

So why the fuck has you not told her to fuck off yet? What exactly is the hindrance in you decision making? Hit the nail on the head there.

Yes she was manipulated, and yes, her mother has to look out for her though she could have shown OP a little empathy after the fact , but op has to look out for himself.

Living with the daughter is just too much of a risk at this point. There is nothing saying she won't be manipulated by her father in the future, no guarantee she won't tell another lie.

It's about keeping himself safe at this point. I hope they charged the ex husband criminally. Also sounds like the gf cares more about having a roof over her head than what her daughter did.

I don't think it's a good idea to continue. Yes, the girl was manipulated by her dad, but if it happened once, why shouldnt it happen again? Yes, as a mom, your gf did right by her daughter.

However, would you be able to even consider letting her and the girl move back in, knowing that you are in constant danger of being accused again?

Exactly, I just don't trust her daughter anymore. And if you can't trust someone under your own roof, there's not much chance of building that back up.

Worst, if you do look past this and she might actually suffer sexual abuse in the future, you'd have this doubt because of your past.

It's not feasible to walk forward with the relationship unless this is addressed but it's been made clear that it had not been taken seriously.

Has she seemed therapy? I understand this, and if true it's fucked up. But if so, it's her job to do something and protect her daughter as she did in this situation.

The mother is in a dilemma here in defending her daughter. On the one hand, if she's considered responsible at 13 for having the cognitive development to understand that lying about sexual assault is wrong then you are looking at a turbulent teenage parenting struggle with someone who, at the moment, is happy to cooperate with such a shameful act.

On the other hand, if she's stressed to be too young to he considered responsible and should be seen as manipulated, you don't take away the problem of trust or worrying about what she does do.

It only adresses whether she is culpable not. Because the threat of the actions still remain, manipulated or not. The mother doesn't seem to empathize with what you went through.

What about the daughter? Is she remorseful? I would nope the fuck out. Bye Felicia. They all need therapy like yesterday. The mom absolutely did the right thing by believing her daughter.

I'd move on from this one mate. Cut your losses. You can't trust her to not do it again and they might believe her if she makes multiple accusations against you.

Your GF did the right thing by her daughter but I don't think this can be a relationship again. What if you need to discipline her daughter one day?

Not physically but like grounding her or something and she makes up crap again? Not worth the risk. She basically shrugged this massive accusation off and is downplaying the severity of it.

What more will you have to put up with in the long run? Will the daughter eventually recant her denial and insist you molested her? Too scary man.

Lol thank you for the laugh here, I've had precious few laughs lately so this has been much needed. Every time I read someone say "I started balling like crazy", I think of them playing basketball real hard, like doing crazy dribbling or something.

She did what she had to do as a mom to protect her daughter. That's understandable. But the die is cast. You now need to do what you have to do to protect yourself as a man.

And that's understandable too. She's just a kid. But there's most likely no going back. Her ex ruined everything. I understand that, I can't blame her for it.

But I can't lie, I don't trust her daughter anymore. As much as she is a kid, it's been tarnished now. I can't look at her the same. Had her daughter hesitated even slightly in coming clean this could have ruined your life.

That's major. You're right to be so hesitant to trust again. You deserve to feel as safe as everyone else in your family situation. Dude your life was seconds to being over.

Second this. Your life will be in ruins if you give so much power to a girl who can be manipulated AND takes instructions from a man who actively wants you gone.

You'll be super screwed and shat on if she decides that you assaulted her and she doesn't admit to anything for her dad who she loves.

Worst, it's not just this relationship that will be screwed, it's all your relationships, your job, your family and your reputation.

You'll have to start life anew and that is really really hard because nowadays people do background checks, companies do background checks, Twitter does background checks and 4chan does background checks.

Your daughter should apologize to me for what she did. You should make changes in her visitation with your husband because he committed a crime which he should pay for and I could sue for.

I think you could get past some of these issues, but your caution is very understandable. Her lack of empathy and apology is certainly a big issue and contributes to no trust and no further relationship.

Why would I want to live with you and your daughter under those circumstances? So much this. That is fucked up. OP should absolutely not talk to the daughter, now or ever unless she's like 20 years old and wants to apologize or something.

That would be entirely out of line. You absolutely should blame her for it. She failed as a parent if her year-old child thinks that it is all right to falsely accuse a person of sexual assault.

If you have a couple of brain cells left, you would run as fast as you can from this person. Not the first time a kid has wrecked the relationship between their parent and a potential mate.

It's definitely in your best interest to get out of this relationship. It's a disaster waiting to happen. If the charges stuck and mom stayed with OP If Ops ex isnt braindead she could easily get full custody and end all visitation because of this.

Right, that's what she should be doing cause this incident might repeat again. Who knows what the ex will manipulate his daughter into doing next.

He may also continue ruining any future relationships she has in this way. Seeing the media is super-saturated with the relevant information right now, and there's tons of kids on the Internet bravely battling the "discourse" and cancelling people left and right, she's definitely old enough to know what she did is wrong.

And she's old enough to have known it at the moment of doing it. OP, cut your losses. The kid might be a little sociopath in the making, you don't need this kind of burden.

Totally agreed with the first part - she absolutely needs to defend her kid. But her reaction afterwards rubs me the wrong way.

She should at least emphasize with what HE'S going through, and it looks like she just doesn't care. Just think about it, one facebook post and your life is on coals no questions asked.

I would run and very fast. If at 13 the daughter did not realise how dangerous and damaging making something like this up could be, what could she do next?

Bail out mate. You have some very good points. Had the daughter not come clean his life would be ruined. Not over dramatizing. Step away from this mess.

I am a former criminal prosecutor. She should apologize. Your reputation, possibly your job and your personal freedom were all put in jeopardy by this girl.

Not all kids falsely accuse people of felony Sexual abuse which could put them in prison. Be afraid of this little girl and her mom who justifies this dangerous behavior, not to mention the asshole dad.

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You're right to be so hesitant to trust again. You deserve to feel as safe as everyone else in your family situation. Dude your life was seconds to being over.

Second this. Your life will be in ruins if you give so much power to a girl who can be manipulated AND takes instructions from a man who actively wants you gone.

You'll be super screwed and shat on if she decides that you assaulted her and she doesn't admit to anything for her dad who she loves.

Worst, it's not just this relationship that will be screwed, it's all your relationships, your job, your family and your reputation. You'll have to start life anew and that is really really hard because nowadays people do background checks, companies do background checks, Twitter does background checks and 4chan does background checks.

Your daughter should apologize to me for what she did. You should make changes in her visitation with your husband because he committed a crime which he should pay for and I could sue for.

I think you could get past some of these issues, but your caution is very understandable. Her lack of empathy and apology is certainly a big issue and contributes to no trust and no further relationship.

Why would I want to live with you and your daughter under those circumstances? So much this. That is fucked up.

OP should absolutely not talk to the daughter, now or ever unless she's like 20 years old and wants to apologize or something.

That would be entirely out of line. You absolutely should blame her for it. She failed as a parent if her year-old child thinks that it is all right to falsely accuse a person of sexual assault.

If you have a couple of brain cells left, you would run as fast as you can from this person. Not the first time a kid has wrecked the relationship between their parent and a potential mate.

It's definitely in your best interest to get out of this relationship. It's a disaster waiting to happen. If the charges stuck and mom stayed with OP If Ops ex isnt braindead she could easily get full custody and end all visitation because of this.

Right, that's what she should be doing cause this incident might repeat again. Who knows what the ex will manipulate his daughter into doing next.

He may also continue ruining any future relationships she has in this way. Seeing the media is super-saturated with the relevant information right now, and there's tons of kids on the Internet bravely battling the "discourse" and cancelling people left and right, she's definitely old enough to know what she did is wrong.

And she's old enough to have known it at the moment of doing it. OP, cut your losses. The kid might be a little sociopath in the making, you don't need this kind of burden.

Totally agreed with the first part - she absolutely needs to defend her kid. But her reaction afterwards rubs me the wrong way. She should at least emphasize with what HE'S going through, and it looks like she just doesn't care.

Just think about it, one facebook post and your life is on coals no questions asked. I would run and very fast. If at 13 the daughter did not realise how dangerous and damaging making something like this up could be, what could she do next?

Bail out mate. You have some very good points. Had the daughter not come clean his life would be ruined. Not over dramatizing.

Step away from this mess. I am a former criminal prosecutor. She should apologize. Your reputation, possibly your job and your personal freedom were all put in jeopardy by this girl.

Not all kids falsely accuse people of felony Sexual abuse which could put them in prison. Be afraid of this little girl and her mom who justifies this dangerous behavior, not to mention the asshole dad.

This is a toxic family. Run like hell. PS: sling enough mud at a wall and some sticks. There may be folks out there who heard about the accusation and wonder if there was truth to it.

Also can he press chargers for false accusations that could have landed him in prison, lose job, and well..

The other aspect of this, is that the ex is out to get you by manipulating a 13 yr old. Do you know what else he is a capable of doing to you?

I could also be doing more damage to the daughter caught between her vindictive father and yourselves and she is already being used as a pawn to attack you.

Absolutely, I mean we've "had words" before and they definitely wasn't polite, so it's obvious he's willing to do go to a lot more lengths to damage me.

You also need to include the ex. So you have dad that is actively trying to damage you. You have daughter that at 13 can be manipulated into assisting him.

You have mom that will always side with daughter. In my opinion, you need to cut your loses and move on. Teenaged girls are crazy.

The next time she and dad plot to teach you a lesson, they will do a better job of framing you. Protect yourself.

Sucks too cus this is what he wanted you and your gf at the time to split up and it worked. Best of luck to you. I personally would cut my losses right there.

Simple as. You know her mother will always take her side. Move on, meet someone else, be happy and at least you will sleep at night with a clear conscience.

Why aren't the cops going after the dad for inciting a child to make a false police report? That is what I would be asking right now. I have no idea.

He's probably done what he's been doing for years - fucked off and hidden. Do you want to spend the rest of you life wondering when he will pop up again and what he will manipulate his daughter into saying?

I'll bet the kid didn't even apologize for nearly destroying your life, did she? Yes, she was manipulated but she's old enough to know that a lie is a lie and she nearly cost you everything.

The situation sucks for everyone but don't invite that drama back into your life. When I was around her age I was molested by an older girl.

The girl knows damn well what she accused you of, and what an accusation like that can do. The mom should have definitely made her daughter apologize to you before asking about moving back in.

They are a package deal. Daughter had a choice to go to her Mom and say Dad is trying to get me to do this because he wants you back.

Move on!! Not only did half of the package attempt to destroy his life, the other half won't even apologize for what he went through and has made it clear that she will never have his back.

She's unworthy of him. Yeah, exactly. The daughter's 13, she's not 5 and doesn't understand the magnitude of what she's being told to say. If you're not sure, that's a good enough sign already.

If you wanted to it would be very apparent. Cut your losses and move on. Good riddance. As a mother, I totally understand your gf calling the police etc, I would have absolutely done the same.

But as a mother, the minute I found out my child was lying I would be doing everything I could to help not just my child but my falsely accused partner as well.

My child would have been spoken to by the police about how serious the accusations are. There would be therapy. I would be in court to seek a change of access arrangements with my ex, no way in hell would he be having unsupervised contact with my child if there was anyway I could legally stop it.

And I would not only support but I'd be actively persuading my partner to seek some form of legal retribution against my ex, be that an arrest if possible or even suing them.

I would be so apologetic that it happened to him, and desperate to show him he had my full support. Even if he no longer wanted our relationship, he would have my support however he needed.

You haven't even had a "I'm sorry this is happening" so I'm not surprised you don't think you can continue the relationship. Right now you need to do what is best for you, and moving forward as if nothing happened is not it.

Just wow. Not that it means anything from an Internet stranger but I'm really sorry this is happening to you, that is all kinds of messed up.

My half sister did the same thing so she could move and live with her dad. I had to live with my grandparents for 2 years and the whole family got tore apart.

I wouldn't forgive anyone who would do that. If you have proof you should expose what she did to everyone, anyone who has a relationship with her deserves to know what she did.

Her husband has asked me about it before because she's told him lies about my dad. And I have the whole case file and messages of her apologizing to my dad for lying and I showed him all of that.

If people ask me I tell but I don't go looking for them. I use to but she would convince them I'm the spoiled child who got both her parents. I don't want to be insulting, but I feel like it's important for you to understand it clearly.

You're out of your fucking mind if you ever put yourself back in that situation again. You shouldn't even be considering it. I think we can all agree that the mom did the right thing by taking the steps she did and take her daughter's allegations seriously.

It's great that the mom took the allegations seriously, but both she and her daughter need to take the consequences of the false allegation seriously, as well.

Now the mom and the daughter are seeing how upended all their lives are because of this. Neither the mom nor the daughter seem to realize the very serious, life-altering ramifications this has had on the OP, proven or not.

He life could have been ruined. At the very least, this has been more of a trauma for him than for them. In this situation, the mom supporting the daughter as she should meant putting them both against the OP.

It is not possible to just erase this experience. There are far reaching consequences for false allegations. The next time this young woman makes such a claim, it may not be taken as seriously.

Sometimes there is just no going back. This is one of those times. If you take them back into your home, your sanctuary, you lose that, you lose your sense of safety, even if they never make such an allegation again.

Don't you deserve to feel safe and relaxed in your own home? Don't they? How can they even sleep at night knowing what they've put the OP through?

Do they have no conscience? And as nasty as this is going to sound, has it occurred to anyone else that the mom's primary concern is having a place to live, or having the OP continue to house her and her daughter?

I'm sorry, but I think the mom cares more about being provided for than she does for the OP. I think that the mom is opportunistic and selfish.

She hasn't taken ownership or responsibility for these events, she isn't showing any empathy or understanding for the OP, and she isn't setting a good example for her daughter.

She's showing her daughter how to use people for her own gain. Social worker here. She is a good mom. I wish all of the girls who I know who were traumatized had mothers this good.

The daughter obviously felt guilty about what she did once she realized how BAD she screwed up. So she needs to be forgiven and given TONS of therapy.

Forgive, empathize Heck, you probably should never date a woman with a daughter again just because if you got another accusation; this one will make it a pattern.

The fact that your girlfriend is all just like it wasn't a big deal when HER family almost destroyed you? Instead of begging your forgiveness and promising to go after her ex legally?

Just makes it sooo sooo much worse. Walk away. Get some therapy too as this was probably terrifying and rage inducing and you need to process this all to move on.

But seriously Wow, I'm sorry that happened to you. Bio dad sounds like a huge garbage bag. Mum is right, her daughter IS just a kid and she had been manipulated by her dad.

However, saying that, she also needs to know that there are consequences to lying, particularly really big lies like that.

Most importantly though, if YOU don't feel comfortable living with a teenager that has accused of sexual assault, I dont blame you.

I agree that your gf didn't do anything wrong in the circumstance, but she has to recognize that this has been an ordeal for you.

If you still want to be with your gf, then tell her that. But you don't have to live in her home till you're certain the animosity is gone.

Her ex is obviously still bitter and trying to interfere - i don't know that its safe for you to stay in that house. Im sure it's just a matter of time before he comes up with something new.

Has her kid apologized. So she thinks the fact that u almost went to jail for years isnt a big deal?

This is a huge deal! I would tell her the truth. You love her but you are no longer comfortable with her daughter living in your home. Nope, although I haven't wanted to be near her so she wouldn't have the chance anyway.

I mean in hindsight, it was a ridiculous accusation - the police that investigated even said it was ridiculous and knew within 5 minutes of interviewing me, it was false but they had to investigate anyway.

That is what also pisses me off about people using police and social services to report fake rape and abuse cases, those valuable resources are wasted investigating untrue claims, when many real abuse cases slip through the cracks.

That's too much to look past I think. And I would be worried about what is going to be the next ploy. I would think leaving would be the best option for you.

All anyone ever heard is "you been accused of sexually assaulting a 13 year old girl" not that said girl lied and that you are completely innocent.

This situation could have ruined your life. Sexual assault is front page news, the fact the she lied and you are completely innocent is on page I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

There's no unringing that bell. I would keep my distance from this, my friend. The mother should have had a much stronger reaction with the daughter.

Did she even punish her? Putting the manipulation by the father aside, this young lady knows right from wrong.

If you reconcile I'd be very afraid of any words coming out of that young lady's mouth. Wait, she said she knows her daughter could falsely accuse you of rape again and again she will do the same thing So yes, they both owe you a thousand apologies.

A false accusation like that could ruin your life! It still could You shouldn't take it personal? Those are red fucking flags. Cut contact OP.

And I feel sorry for the next guy her daughter doesn't like. This is one of those situations in which both of you are correct, but it doesn't change that the relationship is broken.

Instead it ruined our relationship. Actions have consequences, sometimes big ones this is living example of that.

We need to move on from this. But it will not be together. I really hope you get some therapy for your daughter and I wish you well in the next chapter of your life.

However, we are done. Get the fuck out of there! You can't risk your well-being for any other person in these kind of situations. I'm sure you love her etc but that's bad situation for you and will only get worse.

If you see red flags in a relationship pay attention to them and do what you know is right. Besides, the dad will always be in her life and you know what he and his daughter of capable of.

Don't get back with her and politely tell her that you just can't risk your life and freedom for this. That's as bad as it gets. Also, even though it was proven you didn't do it people will always question and doubt it in their heads.

You, your ex and evryone else deserve better than that. I wish you much luck and I'm really sorry that happened to you.

You'll be better alone at home then alone in jail for BS drama. Sorry man There was a posting a while ago about a guy in the UK who had this happen to him and it effectively ruined his life - to the extent he almost went to jail, lost his job and had to move away.

It was about as complete a nightmare as you can get. His gf did the same, threw him under the bus and then when it was all disproved, she wanted to return to normal.

But there is no "normal" to return to - it died when the accusations hit the ground. So no, cut your losses, tell her you are sorry that this all happened but you just no longer see her in the same light any more and no longer have any feelings for her.

And never, ever date a single mum ever again. They mean well and all but they just tend to inadvertently drag a freight train of toxic mess behind them.

They don't mean too, but that toxic mess is always just out of view. I'm from the UK myself but can really believe it went that bad for the poor bloke, being accused of being a nonce is about as bad as it can get here.

Well, that made me angry. This will happen again and you might not be as lucky. You now have to live with the fact that there is an official record of a sexual assault accusation in your name in a police database.

Cut your ties and run now! And honestly, you're not going to be able to hide your resentment for her daughter.

How will you ever get past this. Fuck your gf too for not begging for forgiveness. I remember that story. The guy's job was highly specialized and he was all but unemployable even after the accusations were disproven.

He was ruined by the ordeal. Sounds like youre just going to resent the kid which in turn is going to end in disaster for you and your gf later on down the road.

Probably time to move on and not allow a festering time bomb to tick. OP do not get back together with her! What happened is a relationship ender.

The OP was eventually clearly but since he was arrested and the allegations made public, he still lost his job and had so many people turn against him thinking he was a child molestor.

He had to move away and start over somewhere else. His Ex and her child were very apologetic but there was no way the relationship could be salvaged after his life had been destroyed by the false allegation.

I suspect you will come to similar terms regarding your relationship. INFO: Did the child or the father receive some kind of punishment from lying?

Like are they realizing the seriousness of what was done? It seems like the mom isn't. I wouldn't go back and avoid them at all cost.

An accusation like that is life changing and possibly life ending depending on who finds out. Your just supposed to forget about it and move on.

Okay, first of all, I think it was good for her as a mother to try to protect her child from a potential predator.

I get that you're hurt and angry that she didn't take your side, but IMHO, it's always best to err on the side of the child, and that's what she did.

However, she should absolutely have apologised for the situation. She should have told you that she was trying to protect her child, and that she was sorry it had all been such a mess.

She should also have had a talk with her kid about lies and making false accusations. That's not cool. I get that the kid was manipulated, but she's old enough to know what lying means, and that it's not okay to do it.

The family situation with your gf and her ex and her daughter is wildly dysfunctional. If you get back together with your gf, the daughter comes along as part of the package, and she's already shown that her father can and will manipulate her in all kinds of ways to get at you.

Add to that the fact that your gf isn't even particularly alarmed by her daughter's criminal behaviour yes, it is criminal to file a false report with the police!

For your own safety, you should never have contact with her again. Accusations like that, even when proven false, can follow you for the rest of your life because people will always be slightly suspicious.

If the police have her statement on record that her father convinced her to make false accusations against you, you should sue him.

Her being a child is not an excuse, she knew what she was doing when she accused u. And the fact that she falsely accused u and her mother just brushes it off means that she's going to possibly falsely abuse other men in her future.

Her mother needs to seriously take that kid to therapy or something because she knowingly almost ruined your life and the mother continues to brush it off like it's nothing.

The relationship is dead, trust your gut. This is not inner conflict, this is self preservation. You'll never look at her daugher the same again, and worst your GF defended her when she wronged you this horribly.

It' isn't worth it. She could have destroyed your life over a sick lie. No person is worth that.

Does she and her daughter not realize the severity of the accusation she made and what kind of trouble you would be in? She has a small reaction compared to what had happened.

I wouldn't exactly have much trust for either of them after that, so I'd cut your losses and move on. What other lies is she willing to mold without question?

The fact that your girlfriend doesn't seem to care just rubs me the wrong way. You dodged a bullet from you blind spot, why do you wanna expose your head for another killshot?

That kid is already corrupted, she already retorts you are not her dad. She feels you are the reason her dad is out of the picture.

She will keep trying to get rid of you. Her mother is also an enabler of that behavior, so avoid them like poison, unless you wanna be a regular at your police station for the next 5 years defending yourself from those abuse charges.

Accusations like that, especially with a minor involved, can destroy lives and that father should be punished. Here's the thing, if you somehow were wrongfully convicted, you'd be branded a pedophile, spent maybe a decade in jail, put on a sex offender list, and would become ostricized by friends and family.

Your gfs daughter is 13 and should've known this. I wouldn't want to be around someone who was so ready to ruin my life anymore. This type of accusation is a life destroyer.

The child needs to be made to understand that. Im more concerned about the fact this man managed to make a vulnerable 13 year old girl lie to such extreme??

I really fucking hope that contact with the ex is completely cut because if he can get her to lie about this, what else is he capable of doing?

Bro move on but like Im worried for this girl holy shit. Move on, this can get ugly and you will always take the fall.

Remember the saying "where there is smoke, there is fire". Find another. In a way you should be glad. You have now found out that your GF will easily throw you under a bus and lacks the courtesy to apologize for the wrongful accusations against you.

Your GF's daughter is She knows bloody well the risk and possible repercussions from this sort of accusation. She also had a bad attitude towards you.

Well, this situation sucks! I completely understand not wanting to continue with the relationship, but it really sucks the asshole ex ends up getting what he wanted.

That guy deserves a broken face for using his daughter like that and potentially ruining a guys life based on a disgusting lie. Not worth it man, just cut your losses and move on.

The best retaliation here is to forget he exists. He's not worth going to jail over. Neither is your ex or her daughter.

Just wash your hands of the whole lot of them. And don't date single moms. You'll always be an outsider.

Bro, she just told u that she"did what she had to and won't apologize" so then use apply that same logic to urself.

Tell her that ur doing "what u have to but cutting ur losses and leaving them" especially cause an excuse of her being a kid is just stupid. At 13, she should know between lying and manipulation and how not to do that.

Shes not 5. Especially if the dumbass dad is the one pushing her to be a dumbass. She can still apologize. Just want to point out that the dad sounds like a complete sociopath and is likely to find another way to get you out the picture.

If I were you I would see this as a huge sign to get out now. You've been presented with a whole bouquet of red flags. Take note that you're dodging a bullet and move on.

Look, her daughter needs therapy. The GF and her Ex need to create rules and boundaries or get a lawyer involved , but the Ex seems unreasonable.

What drama will he create next? Those sorts of accusations ruin lives. Your Ex isn't treating it as the serious matter it is.

Drop her and her daughter who is old enough to know right from wrong. I would not go near this woman or her child again, ever. I would block them on everything and literally pretend they don't exist.

I get her trying to protect her daughter, but I think I would have asked her a whole lot of questions before I went to the police.

If I were you it would definitely be the ex I was most mad at. Young teens from homes where parents are split up can be a little jealous of new relationships their parents have You're not her parent.

She probably sees you as an interloper. The big problem is the lie she told upon her father's encouraging. Honestly the girl needs counseling.

She obviously has turbulent feeling about her parents splitting up, and her father is using her to his own ends. She's 13, impressionable and wants to please her dad so that he actually sees her more.

If you don't want to reconcile, don't. But tell the mom her daughter needs to see a therapist to help her through her parents split and her dad being a manipulative ass.

You were accused of a horrible crime and that makes you the victim here. You have every right to protect yourself from getting hurt again.

This one is easy. Tell her it's over. She did what she felt she had to do to support her daughter and that is understandable. However, there can never be a relationship again after this.

What man would willingly put himself back into the dynamic that nearly resulted in life in prison for a crime he did not commit?

That accusation could have ruined your entire life. Your ex does not understand the gravity of the accusation that her kid made.

People have been driven to suicide by this shit, after losing their jobs and loved ones because of the alienation.

Do not ever go back to them. Your girlfriend did nothing wrong believing her daughter. So many parents ignore sexual abuse and it is a serious issue.

Her taking it serious and letting police investigate was a good thing from a parental view. The daughter was manipulated by her father.

She was lied to and pressured info thinking she had to do something for her father. Luckily she admitted in the end that it was a lie, but the damage was done.

You have every right to feel upset and unsure around the daughter. Ultimately it was her fathers fault and she didn't know better, but that doesn't change the way you feel.

If you want to end things then that is absolutely your right. You should feel safe and comfortable with the people you live with. Mark this forum read.

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